Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
