Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
