My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
