Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She's the barista slut.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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