Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
