Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
