Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
