that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
