I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
COCAINE IS GR8
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
