So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
