booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
