First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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