Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
pray to the hookup gods
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
