one might say we're banned from that church
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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