I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
