Me too!
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
