He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Randomize
