Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
