I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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