It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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