I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
