we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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