grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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