Duck Duck Cougar?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
