The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
