it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
