Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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