You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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