My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
