He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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