Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
