Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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