Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
