I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I am spending my child support on dildos
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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