My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
