We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
There r osticjed everywhere
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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