And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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