my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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