Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
