My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Randomize
