420 ftw
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
