Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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