Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
