The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
