garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
