i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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