Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
