yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
