Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
