I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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