yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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