I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
