it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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